Lucky?

There are a number of well meaning people in the world, and I am always appreciative, if a little overwhelmed, by those that think we do something amazing. 

A friend of mine once made me sob my heart out with his comments about what we had achieved with our three sons - and lovely as it is I don't think we see it like that. We wanted to have children and knew surrogacy was not (and never would be) our preferred route to become parents. Adoption was our route.

There are still people who don't understand adoption - and what I mean by that is they don't understand how adoption has changed over the years. Some still believe babies are relinquished regularly and that is how you adopt. Of course there are still relinquished babies in the adoption system, but very very few. 

It is polite to educate people and generally, through work and through play I am quite good at it, well I like to think I am. There is one comment that gets my goat though....

'Ooooh, aren't your kids lucky!'

Lucky? No! Bold and brave? Yes!

It is something I need to calm down about as it makes my neck hair stand on end when I hear it, and generally when I inform them of the above it is done with a bit of attitude. 

The most recent time it was said I seriously had to think long and hard about the comment as it came from a lovely lady who I admire and respect and like very much. It was not said out of spite nor to be nasty, it really wasn't. She has seen first hand what we go through every day and our commitment to these children, her comment about them being lucky, I think she was referring to how we never falter in the way we parent, and how lucky our sons are to have parents who will do that.

For us as adoptive parents (and I am also talking to you reading this) we don't see it the same way. We all commit to these traumatised children and will stick by them through thick and thin. We are the lucky ones... We have been gifted the opportunity to provide loving homes and families for these children who had a less than lucky start. 

Adopted children are not lucky, they begin their journey into care being extremely unlucky - and we are trusted to begin re-parenting and I always (OK.... Maybe not always!!) feel lucky that I have been given the opportunity to be called Dad. 

One of the lovelies over on Twitter saw my frustration over this the other week! Talented lady that she is, I commissioned a pin badge designed and made by her. 

In my Scottish colours too! 

Check out @take2mums on Twitter or at her eBay store: http://stores.ebay.co.uk/thelmatopia 

And please.... Think before you speak!