If someone claims they have had issues with their mental health – then they have had issues with their mental health.

It's been a while since I blogged.. and its one of those times where you think, do I plough in or do I just leave it? Let’s just see where this one ends up.

So, here we go…

 

It’ll be 15 years on 29^th March since my brother decided that he didn’t wish to be in the world anymore. Years of mental health issues with no support, no-one listening and no-one caring meant he could no longer go on. 

 

I was a bystander, literally, someone who could watch, try and help, but literally able to do nothing. I did not understand it, I still don’t think I have struggled with my mental health to this day, therefore how could I do anything without knowing what it was like?

 

When I say tried to help, I, and my parents, were there when Lee came to us asking for help. Often it was hard to tell if he was struggling, and let’s be totally blunt, even today it is still a struggle for those who struggle with their mental health to be able to say “I am struggling”. Lee never once said “I am struggling” in the run up to a crisis. 

 

We all took our turn to transport to and from the hospital, talk to A&E staff, visit and attempt to have some sway with the Doctors and Nurses on the wards. The latter was on deaf ears. Not their fault, I don’t suppose, but at the time, it was Lee’s choice to be there, and if he didn’t want the support and help, then there was nothing anyone could do. 

 

Each time he would discharge himself and the cycle would start again.

 

This week, and this time of year has brought it all back, from the little locked boxes in my head where all the memories and experiences are stored. I have gone from being a bit upset, to absolutely raging angry when I have watched and listened to commentators who think they have the right to say whether someone does or does not suffer from their mental health. IT IS NOT THEIR PLACE. I do love the Royals, have met some of them, and I guess the conflict for me here is that there is two sides to every story. I met Prince William via Heads Together, the mental health charity that William, Harry and Kate are a big part of. 

 

But, it is not my or anyone elses place to say the claims aren’t true, or no access to support is lies. If someone claims they have had issues with their mental health – then they have had issues with their mental health. If someone bravely opens up that they are heading to or in crisis – listen, do not judge, do not gaslight them or minimise their state of mind. Get them help and believe that they are struggling. 

 

Just a year ago we were asking everyone to #BeKind after Caroline Flack felt she could no longer live in this world. 

 

#BeKind 

In the meantime, my thoughts return to someone who should be here to have met my children, parented his daughter, lived a life.