Every Child matters

By absolute default I recently found myself swept up in the campaign "Every Child leaving care matters" (#ECLCM). The campaign is making steps towards young people in residential care being able to continue to live in residential care post 18, just like young people who are in foster care until the age of 21 years old. By default I mean that I knew of it, but just found it unbelievable that we would be treating young people in care so differently when their needs are the same.

Ben Ashcroft embarked on the journey from Halifax to London - Parliament actually, to raise awareness and to present his case to all the MPs who would obviously want to back the campaign, and he had strategically planned his arrival at parliament to coincide with Prime Ministers Questions - given that the large majority of MPs would be in Parliament that day, and of course, they would all back this campaign, regardless of their political allegiance, right? Sadly not.... it appears that only a few were interested, and whilst it's a start, it is no where near where it needs to be.

I am sure that Ben and his colleagues, all in support of the campaign, and of course, some having experienced care themselves, will continue on with the campaign, and I certainly back the campaign. Anything I can do to help bring equality for children who have had the misfortune to experience care - I will. 

I joined Ben and Angi (a social worker who also supported the campaign) near St Albans as Ben embarked on the last few days of his walk, and via Hertfordshire County Council and Adoption UK we hosted an "Evening with Ben Ashcroft". I spent the day with Ben, whilst BBC Breakfast journalist, Jayne McCubbin, interviewed Ben about the campaign and his experience. Within minutes I was pulled in to the campaign, the interview, and into Ben's story. What was clear, as Ben and I had a break from the camera and interviews, was that this was not about Ben... yes, he has experienced a lot in his life, but the interview, from his perspective, wasn't to focus too much on his story. I sensed the cringe... he was quite clear, this was not about him - this was for the young people currently in the care system and those who will sadly continue to enter care in the future.

On the drive to the Stevenage for the evening, stuck in traffic, Ben and I had a meaningful conversation about his life, and what he wants to achieve. What we discussed I would not break his confidence to share here, as what was said in the car stays in the car, but needless to say, it resonated in some ways to my own children's stories. Their experiences are obviously not the same, however, the outcomes could have been. My sons could have been living that life, living in residential care. 

The other thing that resonates is having a 19 year old son that could have been in residential care, and whilst he is 19, he is adopted, but is far from ready to be independent successfully. This stabs at my heart, it isn't always easy and there are days where we would all quite happily live apart, but I could never have brought myself at the age of 18 to say to either of my sons - "that's it guys, it's time to leave, we have done our bit"

That is what happens to young people in residential care currently.

How is this correct? Foster Care guidelines only recently extended the age that a young person can remain in foster care to the age of 21, what is the difference? 

Adopted, Fostered, Residential, SGO, CAO..... there is no difference, all of these children have experienced neglect, abuse and trauma, and yet we expect them all to be read for independence at the age of 18 years old, regardless of their experience, if they live in residential care.

It's time for equality. 

Every child matters.... yes, that is correct, but I 100% back the campaign for Every Child Leaving Care matters - you should too.

Would you want this for your child? There in lies the answer. 

Since meeting Ben I have read the book he has written, 51 Moves. I have read lots of these types of books over the years, and the story is not too dis-similar, however, I think because I have met Ben it most definitely made it all the more personal to read. The difference between these books though is that Ben tells a story more about his 51 Moves through e care system.... 51 moves, 51! Seriously. A relatively short book, I couldn't read it all at once, it was a disturbing read.

Throughout his book the message is clear - listen to the child/young person. Ben was not listened to. Had he been his number of moves would probably have been a lot lot less. 

Meeting Ben has had an impact on me, it likely the experience will stay with me for a long time. An amazing gentleman who has had his struggles, but knows what he wants to change, and will do everything he can to do it. I mean that... a gentleman - one I hope will stay in my life for years to come.

* NOTE: Clearly remaining in care beyond 18 should be a choice - not all those who reach 18 years old will wish to continue in the "system" and some may not need to, this is more about having the option.

** NOTE: never ever move a child on with their belongings in a black bag... it still happens.